Sex Education For Minors

Here is how it was when I was a kid. We learned about sex in school, in church, and of course, in our neighborhoods. Some kids had little comic books with hard-porn sex illustrations. I can only speak for the boys. I started to hear of sexual experiences from boys when I was in elementary school. Most of them were not true but we liked to hear them and live them vicariously.

We had little experience with girls but boys have an interest in girl’s anatomy when they are very young, barely out of kindergarten, and they will try to explore their interest perhaps asking a girl to show her private parts.

Masturbation was common, speaking only for the boys. Group masturbation or “speed” contests occurred. There were occasional homosexual acts. Some boys began having sexual intercourse when in their early teens. These were called, “bad kids.”

When I was about 12, my father took me on a 20 mile hike telling me about the birds and the bees. He mainly told me horror stories about masturbation. I really didn’t know what he was talking about. I was much more interested in the old pits used for catching black bears, the snakes, and the fact that my father knew all the wild flowers by name. The most interesting thing was his story about the bear trainer who was sparing with a black bear who took only one swing at the man. He was knocked out for several days, more like a week.

Later a doctor was brought to the church to talk to the boys about masturbation. To say the least, we all had a great interest in the subject. Again, I was one of the youngest boys and got into a fit of the giggles. So did a couple of other boys. It was all new to us!

I might add that not all boys took up masturbation, just most of them.

Some boys had wet dreams. These were often told in detail. One boy had a dream where his ROTC instructor was really a woman in disguise. That way his admiration for the instructor and his desire for sex were satisfied in one swell scoop.

Sex was “totally revealed” in junior high school and high school but not in the classroom. We were now associating with girls and we played such games as “Post Office.” We often mentioned the game “Pony Express,” which was said to be “Post Office with a little more horsing around.”

In “Spin the Bottle” or “Post Office” the reward was to go into a dark bedroom with a girl and receive a kiss. I don’t remember how the game of “Post Office” was played but I remember “Spin the Bottle,” a game we had played when we were tiny kids.

Some boys were now dating, Many of us were not.

So that is how we got our education. I remember a short morality lecture in my high school gym class, but that was it.

The fact of the matter is that we never had any in-depth sex education.

Sexual Codes

I don’t think that in nature there is a code of conduct in regard to sexuality. Other primates have their own ideas. Some are very promiscuous to prevent confrontations. Others are more discrete, the males vigorously guarding their harem. This occurs with many other animal species.

Young animals are not always safe from adult males. If a female will come into heat, or estrus, if her young are killed, the young are in grave danger. Male lions are known for this behavior. The reasoning given by those who study such critters is that they must spread their DNA quickly or lose the chance to other marauding males. I think they know nothing of such talk. They just want sex.

A Zulu chief once said that clothing led to promiscuity, not nudity. When everyone is nude, nobody has a question about the anatomy of males and females. Some male children are bathed with their mother when very young and know about her. But most children know little of the opposite sex’s anatomy.

Now days, because of television, children are exposed to nudity and sex. Actually, you can not see sex organs of a woman when she is nude. You see some pubic hair maybe, but not anything else. Television and movies until recently did not show the sex organs of men. Well, now you see that.

I suppose that hard porn leaves nothing to the imagination. That is something that I have stayed away from. Well, when I was a kid, a friend freshly home from the navy, showed me some pics he bought in the Philippians. Such images tend to stick in the mind.

Part of our problem is that we paint sex as wicked rather than as natural as scratching your nose. In some societies, teenagers are left to their whims, that is if we have not killed those societies off, they take off from the community and have sex. Fidelity comes only after marriage. Such societies simply face the facts and they don’t have our problems. Babies come and, in at least the Amazon, they come from the Man in the Moon. Nasty fellow!

Some societies think that a stranger needs food, water, warmth, shelter and sex. They are know to share their wives with guest. You must travel north to see that but is all existent in other societies. We call those “Primitive Societies.”

Some northern climes seem to promote sexual laxity.

I think that in most civilizedcommunities, sex education in schools is mandatory. Abstinence before marriage is often promoted and that works for many teenagers. The complaint here is that the emphasis may be “too much” on condoms and pregnancy prevention rather than local moral issues.

Here are my opinions for what they are worth:

Teaching in the Home

I asked my wife when she taught our children about modesty. She said when they start dressing themselves. In out society we often judge people by how they dress. We can teach our children to be modest and we can teach them about clothing and how it looks to others.

I asked her about how she taught other issues of sex to our children. She said that I taught the “hard stuff.” I told he that I couldn’t remember doing it but she said I did. It must have been during our Monday night family meetings when we taught a lesson, played games, and had refreshments. Based on that, I assume I taught the tenets of our church. So, maybe that is how you can teach your children at home. Spend on evening with them each week and teach them a lesson, have some fun, eat, and plan out the schedule for the week so everyone will know how the twins are getting to soccer practice and how Mary will get to her piano lesson.

I never taught any details of sex. We taught it belongs in marriaige and that is a binding force between couples and brings children into the home.

Teaching in Religious Organizations

If your religion has youth groups, that may be a good place to teach kids about ethics and moral conduct. Our church has the young men and young women separated most of the time. That leads to an opportunity to teaching specifics. One leader taught that the boys have a little “machine” inside them that brings on wet dreams occasionally and to leave it at that. One said that masturbation is stupid. The boys are not to masturbate but to be morally clean so they can represent the church throughout the world.

Teaching in Schools

I think sex topics should be taught early and often. In the early years, specifics of anatomy and reproduction could be taught. As children get older, they can be taught about sexually transmitted diseases such as was once taught in the military, the risks, the dangers, and prevention. The old military films showed some awful results of gonorrhea and syphilis. They showed male parts falling off and a soldier causing his wife to give birth to a blind child due to his gonorrhea. When I was in the army, the thinking was changed and replaced with morality training.

I think that sexual norms can be taught, helping students learn what is expected by them in society. Fidelity should be emphasized. Why? Because a person who is promiscuous before marriage may be apt to be unfaithful after marriage. That leads to much sorrow, legal problems, financial problems, and trauma to parents and children. This however, I understand, is not true in some parts of New Guinea. Fidelity usually works there despite premarital infidelity.

Premarital Counseling

I think a lot of misunderstanding and problems between newly weds could be removed by premarital counseling. Men can be very naive about a women, her needs, her concerns, and her anatomy. I realize that with time, things will come together but it would be better if these things were taught sooner. There are still many newly weds who are not experienced in sexual matters.

Unfortunately, there are many adults who have been married for some years who don’t know what should be going on. That is why we have so many sex clinics.

100% Free Adult Amateur Films

The free adult porn market is pretty much thriving these days and more and more sites pop-up in this industry every day. The vids which they host are virtually mind-blowing and folks like them. On every single free porn page can be found a specific number of categories that will help you look for the vids that you like the most.

The grouping that in some way seems to turn me on is the Amateur. Amateur 100% free porn vids are simply astounding – there are no words and phrases in any way to explain a home made video with you and your girl making love in the craziest way possible. I absolutely am into these clips and i confess that I check out them once in a while. From them fresh approaches can be mastered for pleasing your lover better. All of these 20min clips can actually be considered as being educational vids from where you are able to understand how to do it much better, how to protect yourself and what things you mustn’t do during intercourse.

Almost all free porn amateur vids possess a little something exclusive that makes them one of the most wished-for. Looking at how unprofessional folks start kissing, touching, undressing, looking at them how they’re making real love – this stuff can’t be found in not one other free porn category and i also consider that amateur vids are worthy of the 1st place in any cost-free adult porn category countdown.

What I enjoy the most about free porn amateur vids would be the approach they’re done: through the help of a cellphone or a digicam or even using the webcam of the Personal computer or laptop computer. What I enjoy a lot more is the fact that all those people who have sex on the camera post their video on the internet, on specialized free porn webpages which host this kind of clips and can earn some cash from it… very cool! Try out such a vid on your own and hit me up – inform me what you think of it and from a scale from 1 to 10, just how great the amateur category is.

A Scarlet Letter Of A Sex Worker

The sex industry is an often misunderstood profession that in all actuality can be a lucrative, convenient and viable career option for those brave enough (or fool-hardy depending on your point of view) to pursue this line of work.

We have all heard of the time-worn cliché that prostitution is oldest trade, however, by and large the stigma and judgement still persists for all those who work within it.

The sale of sex remains the ‘scarlet letter’ for any person willing to forgo their relative anonymity for a form of notoriety that will long outlive their actual participation in the work, where wider society has found itself unable to make a connection with sex work and any semblance of innate self- respect or dignity of that individual.

Yet perhaps this should not be viewed as wrong or immoral per se as long as they are not left degraded and are operating safely. Providing this decision remains theirs alone, and is not the manifestation of force or of any modicum of coercion involved, or worse still being enslaved into the profession, then they have a fundamental right, as any of us, to exercise their own free-will in their endeavours.

Bishakha Oatta, a writer and filmmaker in India, has these views on the subject, “When women say the harm in sex work comes not from the act of selling sex, but from the stigma and violence surrounding it because of its illegal nature, we must hear them”.

One of the most important considerations perhaps, ultimately lies in the choice, and as long as this remains and informed one, it would be reasonable to at least allow others to find their own paths and not be shamed out of it by the notion it may be at odds with societies’ values.

Indeed, many enjoy the lifestyle and undoubted monetary rewards accrued from sex work, albeit for a very limited period, as this tends to be a short-lived career, particularly in the adult porn industry, who can expect a career of several years duration at most if they are successful in the business.

The suitability of the surrounding area must also be considered. There would be few residents entirely at ease with the knowledge that an establishment selling sex was in such close quarters as to offend their sensibilities, with maybe young families living in the vicinity, or any other possible ramifications.

In what could amount to a cross they may have to bear for an indefinite period, and tainted with the label of a sex worker, with family members or even strangers being alerted to their past, casting aspersions and harboring preconceptions about their character… it’s not a decision to be taken lightly!

 

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Escalating Porn Addiction and Criminal Thoughts

Pre-Internet, young addicts would steal porn magazines from the top shelves of newsagents. Post-Internet – according to my 2 years of research into porn addiction – this is tame compared to what goes through their heads to do to act out their escalating pornography addictions. Many are becoming deeply scared of their own minds and addictions. One man wrote “I have deep dark desires that I wish to fulfil which are even stronger than my porn addiction.” Another man wrote “I am severely depressed. I am now having horrible thoughts of hurting myself and my girlfriend and doing horrible violent things in general. I am 24.”

Depending upon what they have been exposed to in their journey through the bowels of Internet pornography determines what they soon begin feeling compelled to do next when they have become desensitized with purely legal acting out behaviors. Many addicts at this stage fear their next bender could tip them over the edge into doing illegal things as they begin to find it harder and harder to disassociate from the porn world.

It starts with relatively “mild” fears such as a 19 year old who wrote “I’m frightened I’ll become a pervert when I grow up. I’ve been doing porn since I was 14″ to older addicts writing things such as “I now want to see women urinating on toilets after seeing a lot of urine porn and am scared I will act out by setting up a camera in a women’s toilet”. Another (white) man wrote “It’s gotten to the point where I now fantasise that I am a white woman being raped by multiple black men as well as being one of the rapists too.”

One female porn addict wrote “It’s escalating now to an obsession with putting myself in dangerous situations so I can be raped”. Another addict who had a history of physical and sexual abuse and being degraded as a child had the desire to be “killed at the hands of a lover”.

Another 18 year old man wrote “Only drowning and suffocating porn can satisfy me now. I fear I will become a serial killer and I doubt my morality.” Equally as disturbing were the words of a young student who wrote “I’ve got to the point now where bondage videos are not violent enough to satisfy me. I sit in class and think of strangling the woman in front of me.” This man was understandably banned off the forum he wrote this on but my question is “what happened to him?”… Did he ever act out his thoughts?

Another tormented porn addict wrote “Until I saw bestiality porn, I had never wanted to be sexual with an animal. I loved animals and was brought up with them. Now I am acting out with my own dogs and want to put them up for adoption so I can stop this sexual abuse. I want to be able to view my dogs as pets – nothing more. They deserve so much better than this. I’m at breaking point.”

Other escalating pornography addicts become obsessed with being in risky situations like exposing themselves and/ or masturbating in public places. Some addicts will masturbate in back rows of theatres or picture houses or in their car when they stop at the lights. It gives them the arousal they need to be able to reach a new peak that ordinary virtual porn can no longer give them as well as giving them adrenaline hits their addiction needs. One man was being driven by his addiction to expose himself to 10-15 year olds. He wrote “I already do this with women although I pretend I don’t know they can see me. I cannot believe how damaged I am. It happens a lot when I am under pressure or stressed. If I don’t “do the deed” I get very agitated, angry and frustrated. When I do it I get relief but then shame and anger set in and I just want to lock myself away.”

Another addict wrote “I’m so worried about going to jail over all my sexual urges and ideas of the things I want to do. I’m still in school and sometimes masturbate on the bus when the urge comes on me and I can’t control it. I’m scared it will get me into some kind of legal trouble. I then watch porn all night long.”

Other addicts – after watching incest porn – have tormenting urges around family members. One 29 year old addict wrote after watching “mother and son” porn… “In my dreams now, my mother is breast feeding me. I’ve become fascinated with her breasts and am scared I’m going to act out on it and touch or grab her breasts. I also want to take photos and videos of her breasts.” Another addict wrote “I watch mother and son porn, daughter and father porn and sister and brother porn. I escalated to this and am now having intrusive incestual thoughts about my mother and other family members. I am scared I am going to act out on them. I tell myself this is the last time I am going to watch porn due to where it is taking me but I always fall back into it again – the porn. I am scared. When I was younger I was exposed to porn and re-enacted what I saw with another boy and why I am scared now.”

Another terrified addict wrote “Since being exposed to brother/ sister rape porn I have had thoughts about raping my sister. I am heading down a very dangerous and horrible road. I don’t want to be a rapist or a murderer and I certainly don’t want to do this with my sister. Now I feel incredibly awkward around her and have no emotional attachment to her anymore. I fear in the future though that porn will not be enough for me and I may actually rape someone. I really don’t want to be a monster yet I fear that may happen in the future. I’m now, as a result, having frequent suicidal thoughts.”

More disturbing is when severely escalating addicts begin to find that “adult” porn – however depraved – is no longer a big enough of an arousal to satisfy their addiction’s needs so move closer and closer to illegal pornography. One addict wrote “I constantly feel paranoid as some sites have questionable videos of what look like underage girls”. Another wrote “I take myself to the edge of legal porn and then am enticed to 100% illegal material via links that come without warning. The crossover is done in a second. There is, bottom line, no safe way to look at porn. I have to completely disengage. It’s evil shit and makes me feel suicidal… I am a compromised human who has abandoned morality. We click in our own chains while weighing down our souls by feeding off the poisonous digital imagery of unspeakable misery of the most vulnerable in our world”.

One addict on the edge of legal and illegal porn wrote this “I’m paranoid I’ll open the wrong page and get arrested as I’m paranoid I’m being watched by Big Brother. I’m paranoid I’m turning into a dirty old man. It’s no fun anymore.”

Another wrote “I don’t feel safe with myself anymore.” Their fears are because once the crossover has taken place to child pornography, they feel they have truly become “monsters”. One man wrote “I feel like a monster by who I’ve become. I AM a monster”. Another wrote “This addiction is starting to frighten me more and more. Today I googled “12 to 15 year old lesbians”. I now feel sickened and can’t believe I searched for it. Urges that can put these sorts of fantasies in your brain are pure evil.” Another addict wrote “It’s getting worse. The other night I couldn’t sleep because I downloaded something illegal” whilst another said “I’ve escalated to child porn. If I don’t stop I will end up in suicide. I was abused as a child too… ”

One man wrote “I’m beginning to stare at teenagers. I try my hardest not to but it’s tearing me apart. God spare me from my worst. This disease is the pits.” Another addict wrote “I started using porn when I was 7 or 8 and am now 41 and it is destroying my life. It started off with your every day run of the mill porn but in the last 8-10 years it’s escalated. I find myself drawn more and more to younger girls to the point where I search out illegal child pornography images on the net. I live every day in hell, fear and self loathing. I feel like an out of control monster.”

Another addict wrote “during more difficult times in my life, I need much more hardcore porn to get the same effect and I’m finding more and more that illegal stuff is in my head. My self worth is almost non-existent. I’m 18. I also pull my hair out and ignore hunger. I watch porn daily.”

And then one day, addicts become desensitized to child pornography too and begin fantasizing about acting out with children. One man wrote “I’m beginning to get really strong urges to act out. Unless I get control of it soon I’ll end up in prison.” Another addict wrote “I role play in chat rooms where I talk about hitting young girls while they’re being raped. Every time I finish I’m always ashamed but then I dismiss it because it’s the Internet and there’s much worse stuff out there but I still feel weird. Daily I watch incest porn and violent sex porn like rape. I’m also attracted to 12-13 years olds now too. Not a soul knows about my dark secrets and all my friends think I’m completely normal.”

Professor Gail Dines, Professor of Sociology at Wheelock College in Boston, who has studied both pornography addicts and the pornography industry for decades and is author of the book “Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality”, interviewed a number of men in prison who had committed rape on children and found that all the men were habitual users of child pornography. Dr Dines said in an interview with Julie Bindel of The Guardian (2nd July 2010) “What they said to me was they got bored with “regular” porn and wanted something fresh. They were horrified at the idea of sex with a pre-pubescent child initially but within 6 months they had all raped a child”.

Whether addicts escalate to child pornography, rape of children, rape of sisters, mothers or whomever, one thing is clear… pornography addiction always progresses to acting out behavior in one form or another.

7 Sex Mistakes That Could Kill Your Relationship

The following are the 7 mistakes that you should watch out for.

(1) Comparing yourself against others

Sexuality is probably the most subjective aspect of human experience. As an individual, we are unique by ourselves and each of us get turned on by different things. There is no “one size fits all” magic method to better sex. Forget the magazines quizzes, the 6 steps sex books and the porn movies, there is simply no meaningful way to compare yourself to a stranger (that you see or read about) when it comes to sexuality. For example, what you see porn movies is just aiming to visually arouse you and not trying to show you how you can sexually satisfy your partner. Besides, almost everyone lies about sex. Comparing yourself to others will only give you grief. If you want to have an enjoyable sex life, focus on yourself and the person you are having sex with.

(2) Sex is not just only a visual experience

For some, having the lights on during sexual activity can allow us to enjoy visual arousal from our sexual partner. Great sex can also happen with the lights off. But it can’t happen without touching and at its best it engages all four of the other senses as well.

(3) Just pounding away on her probably will not make her come.

Some women are extremely orgasmic and can easily reach climax with very little skill on your part but most do not. If a woman can come easily with you by your mere thrusting action, you probably did a lot of other things right (before you walk into the bedroom) that you may not be aware off. During dating, you probably make her laugh a lot, touch at her sexually-sensitive pleasure points (not breasts or vagina), get her excited when you kiss her, you project confidence in front of her, you make her feel appreciated and all these little things can lead her to easy orgasm.

For a woman the interactive part is the most important part. It is when she feels connected and engaged to you that she feels the most sexual pleasure. Make statements expressing your love in her in a proper manner and surprise her with sincerity at times with inexpensive gifts. This will flip the neural switches in her brain so that when you touch her body and make love to her, she experiences massive, orgasmic pleasure.

(4) Neglecting your body

None of us have perfect bodies. Yet we are always been fed with pierced together versions of beauty that can sometimes magnify certain “imperfections” of our bodies. In despair, some of us could just “give up” on caring our bodies. Whatever your body is like, your sexuality is part of it and you ignore your body at the expense of genuine sexual pleasure and empowerment. You should invest your time and effort in taking care of your body. Build up your heart endurance by running, walking, swimming or any activity that you enjoy for 3 to 4 days per week. Do some stretching exercises and simple weight training to boost your muscular endurance and flexibility.

(5) “Blind” obedience to the experts

Amazon lists over 150 books with great sex in the title, each one offering you an endless stream of advice on what constitutes great sex. However, one person’s ways to great sex may not necessary be your path to great sex. It is not that people with expertise don’t have something to offer. In practice, sexuality is so personal and unique that you should be your own expert in order to have an enjoyable sex life. Your sexual expertise comes from paying attention to your own experience, your own feelings, and the “signals” send out by your own body. It is only after laying your own foundation in sexual knowledge/expertise then it is worthwhile to listen to what others said before deciding which of their advice rings true for you.

(6) Confusing sex entertainment with sex education

Sex entertainment (movies, adult workshops, sex toy stores) can be a fun way to explore your options. But this is not the same thing as sex education or sex therapy. If you are feeling good about your sex life but want more fun, sex entertainment may offer a quick boost. But if you are unsatisfied about your sexuality or your sex life, it is better to turn to a qualified sex educator, counselor or therapist.

(7) Keeping a closed mind on sex

There are countless ways to express and experience your sexuality. You don’t need to throw out your principles to have better sex. However, there is always room for creativity in boosting your sex life.